The Will Is There...

Life is moving along. A few things to mention?:

Joe is still an asshole. I am starting to voice more things around him. Such things as, “You have got to have the worse eating habits of anyone or anything that I have ever heard/seen in my life!” and such as “Why do you ask me why I am going to the grocery store.. um… for groceries!” The only thing is, I haven’t sternly enough told him that I am not going to Hawaii with him. I just feel like I need more time to finish what I have planned (ex: more money saved, deposit on an apartment (although I have found one), electricity turned on, etc). You know, necessities. I have however talked to my supervisor and her brother used to work for a moving company. So he has agreed to help me move when the time is nearer. He is not charging nearly as much as he should. I feel like I might even be paying him sweat-shop laborer price so depending on how efficient he is, I will give him a little extra. I should be able to afford as much by then.

Things at home are not better. I lie in bed at night and can hear Joe breathe. I can not even stand to hear the sound of his breath anymore. He doesn’t snore and doesn’t even make actual noises but still, I can hear him and it disgusts me. I feel bad at times as I don’t even want to talk to him. Not even about day-to-day things in general. Not even small talk about the weather. I think sometimes that I am down right rude to him when I answer him but damn! Isn’t what he has done to me rude (to say the least)?

Work is my sanctuary. I really enjoy coming to work. I hate weekends, as I am off on weekends. I look forward to Mondays. Now ‘that’ is weird! But it is my time away from him. Yes, his school is on the campus that I work on, and maybe once a week he will walk the 50 yards to come into my workplace, just to start shit. But other than that? I enjoy it as #1) I don’t have to be around him #2) I work with the best, most supportive group of coworkers, they are a God-send #3) There are so many people that come in my workplace, throughout the day, that makes me laugh and are thankful for me in some sort of way or another. Makes me remember how un-stressful life is supposed to be. So yeah, bring on the Mondays!!!

Sorry for the updates, or lack there of. I just feel like that nothing has really changed. I am still disappointed that things are still the same, no changes. But trust me.. The thought (and the will) is still in motion. I just have to wait until the right time. I just add to my nightly prayers that I will have the courage, commitment and the strength to get me through all of this.

Thanks for stopping by to check on me. I’m holding my own and will try to get these ‘things’ out of my head and into future posts.